Day 2 of 40 Days of Thanks....

Thank you for My Husband, My Lover, My Best Friend Adrian Edwards, he loves me just the way I am, he allows Me to be Me.. Sometimes I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.. But either way I'm Thankful

We have had our ups and downs and way downs..but seem to still come out with our love on top.. I love him and he loves me...and I'm looking forward to growing old with him and once again I say Thank you Jesus...

#1/21/13 Fiercely Fabulous and 40

Sandy Brook Elementary School in Newton CT......

Today I was at work, working and Facebooking and I came across a post of one of my friends that said something like..."OMG who would kill kids" instantly I got a chill in my body cause the thought of killing kids is just crazy...at least so I thought... as I continued to read I saw more and more post about, killing kids, and a school. So I immediately went to my trusty news source MSN and low and behold the top story was about a gunman going into an ELEMENTARY School and killing kids and teachers, and some parents... I was like Whaaat the Hell... who does this...my heart was instantly heavy, and the more I read, the more my eyes began to water...

 

 All I was thinking is who would do such a thing, and it seem like with every update there were more and more bodies... with a grand total of 28 people with 20 being kids... yes kids..kindergarten kids...(Lord please be with this whole community)

ok now what kind of coward would kill kids... cause you definitely have to be a coward..these are babies who can't or hasn't hurt any damn body...especially this fool...and he killed his own momma in this tragic, tragic event...Who does this...well his name is or I should say was Ryan Lanza...and another thing that really bothers me is, how come when these delusional people snap out and kill people, they end up killing themselves.... UGH that just burns me up.. if you wanted to kill your own fool self then that's what the hell you should've done, why take all these innocent people, especially these babies...

And the even sadder part is the aftermath...All the parent's who lost their babies, all the other babies that witness their classmates die, and the babies that even heard the gunshots... this selfish son of a bitch has done something to all these babies that they will never forget and will need counseling and therapy and will prob have night terrors ....smh

My heart goes out that whole community...I said a prayer for them today and I will continue to pray for them, I couldn't even fathom or understand this kind of pain....

God please, put your arms around this community as they work towards healing...

Elementary school massacre

Yep I'll be 40 in 40 days..........

I have a sister who is 8 years older than I am, and I can remember when she turned 30... I told her damn you're old...lol and here I am about to be 40 and I don't even feel like I've grown all the way up. Funny how times flies and it will pass you by if you are not paying attention...

So yeah I'm almost 40, let me say that again Almost 40 hmmmmm I've been preparing myself for 40 every since I turned 39 and I still don't feel like I'm ready...but I don't have a choice cause as long as I keep living, it's going to keep approaching...

So in preperation for this day January 21, 2013 when I do officially turn 40, I'm going to do somethings, First I am going to Pray 3 times a day for 40 days focusing on Family, Future,Self enhancement,(wife, mother, friend etc)  I am going to do a 40 days of Thanks (because God has been so good to little ole ME), and I am going to amp up my work out and do 3 days a week of cardio... which is probably going to be the hardest, but it needs to be done.

I decided to do these things for a couple of reasons, I've been thru a lot in the last 3 years, I've had Breast Cancer, 2 major surgies, 1 minor surgery, and I've been shot... so I am thankful to be alive... let me stay that again I am Thankful to be Alive... very Thankful

Also I want to just want my 40's to be different for me than my 30's or my 20's for that fact..I've done a lot of things and been hurt and have hurt, so I want do be hurt less and do way less hurting, so with this Self enhancement I am going to cut off somethings and people in my life..that either shouldn't be there, or have surved thier purpose in my life...

I just want to be the Best Me I can BE...

Yep I'll be 40 in 40 days, and I'm going to bring it in with a bang...

#1/21/73 Fiercely Fabulous and 40....Watch out World Grown up Tamiko is definitely coming....

"Real Rap" Music

Today's Rap music is nothing like the Rap music from back in the Day...as is shouldn't this is a different generation of rappers...

Now what bothers me is when people (around age 30-40+) says oh this new music is not rap...... Well who made you the rap music decider..lol

People act like Old school rap artist were all real and raw...NOT let's start with Uncle Luke nothing he said held substance, but if doo doo brown came on right now, these same people who say this new music is not rap would get up and say, oh this was the Jam... and what about MC Hammer, You can't touch this...um really... oh and Oaktown 357 really Juicy got them going crazy...lol come on now... or MC Shan... or how about this verse Milk is chilling what more can I say I'm top billing....classic right NOT!!! and there are a whole bunch more I could name but I won't...

Now we did have some really good rappers, just to name a few Biggie, Tupac, Nas, Rakim, Nas, Jay Z and Uncle Scaface just to name some... and the funny thing is, Most of these rappers are still around now along with some other good artist like Kendrick Lamar, Fat Joe, TI, Rick Ross, and Kanye West just to name a few here also...

So no matter how you feel about the new music, and just because you don't care for 2 Chainz or Future or Wacka Flocka Flame (I laugh at that name) or Drake or Lil Wayne or Meek Millz or Wale or any other new wrapper...dosen't mean that they are not "Real" Rappers...


and one more thing, the same way you are talking about this new music, that's the same way your parents thought about your music, and it will continue to go on like that until the end of time......

Fabulous, Almost 40 and Greatly Flawed….

Here I am almost 40 (41 days to my birthday) and still seems like I can’t get this life right, being a mom right, being a wife right, hell just being Me doesn’t seem right sometimes…




(disclaimer – this is not written for sympathy)



When I look over my life, I see all the things I’ve done wrong, the things I’ve done right, and I can’t really tell which one out weighs the other…hmmmmm it’s a very close race…

A very close race… but most of the time all I can focus on is what I’ve done bad….



I just keep telling myself , Tamiko you are going to do things differently and make better choices, yeah I do them differently but I’m not to sure if my choices are better…



Now don’t get me wrong I love being a mother, I love being a wife, I love myself, even though there are a couple of things I would or should change about my self and upgrade my Fabulousness….



As I type this, I can feel my eyes began to water because it forces me to reflect on some things good and bad, and it gets overwhelming…..and let’s me know once again, that there are areas in this life that (God has given me to live) I need to make better decisions.. to make sure my good deeds will out weigh my bad decisions….



Fabulous, Almost 40 and Greatly Flawed…
but most people know me as Tamiko....