I'm Emotionally Drained or Distraught...one of the two...

I thought it would be better by today, I mean it's getting there and I know it will get better but I'm still hurt...

ok let's go back a couple of days on Sunday 01/23/11 2 days after my birthday, after the events that happened on Friday and Saturday which I'm not even gonna touch on (My Birthday and the day after) I woke up on Sunday an emotional mess, I just couldn't stop crying after thinking about the things we've been thur as friends, close friends, in 2-3 short years, and it's painful very painful. now I'm not saying I do no wrong, but I'm a good fucking friend period!! and I've shown that in more ways then one, I always forgive people no matter what they do or say to me, now my prob is I don't forget....but I don't forgive them for them, I forgive them for me, cause I'm way to Fabulous to hold grudges, I'm not gonna go all in the shit that has transpired over these very few years, but I know that I need to do something different. I'm not ending the friendships I'm just revising it, because this right here is not working out for me.

There's no need to try and talk about this, because then I'm being self centered, and I don't care about other people feelings, or I'm playing the victim, or I don't see others point of view and so on.... and we've done that a couple of times before, and the situation never changes, I use to think we were moving forward but now I look back, we haven't moved anyway but over the issue, just so another issue can surface...and when I get to a point where I'm crying something has to change and the only person that can make that happen is ME!

I think we've grown apart and nobody wants to say it. and that's ok too, all friendship weren't suppose to last forever. I mean your friend ain't always your sister and your sister ain't always you friend. and that's ok too...at least with me it is...

So like I said I'm not ending the friendships, I'm just revising it. I'm gonna take some time out to just do Me. I'm gonna start doing a lot of things by myself, Open up my inner circle, do somethings I haven't done before...you know just something new and different...because that has to be better then what is going on currently....