Light Skinned vs Dark Skinned Party....WTF!!

So I frequently read www.essence.com and I came across this story. Light skinned vs dark skinned party causes Twitter upset. So instantly I was reading this story in awe, apparently some party promoters in Ohio thought this would be a good idea and it's suppose to be on my Birthday (1/21/11). And the whole time I'm thinking Oh Wow is this shit for real. So what did I do I posted it on my facebook to see if I was the only one who thought this was bullshit, but apparently I wasn't, I was so bothered by it I posted it again the next day just in case someone didn't see it. The responses I got were kinda what I expected but let me go into why I think it's bullshit...

Well me I'm considered light skinned, but I wish I was darker like Naomi Campbell dark, (but that's me) and it's not like I don't think I'm beautiful as I am, because I know I am, or it's not like I think light skinned girls are unattractive it's just my preference...

so now with that out the way...this light skinned vs dark skinned shit is just degrading to the Black race, we have enough self hate going on that we don't need anybody to exploit it. Especially black women, when you are light skinned, you hear stuff like, you are not black enough, Are you mixed with something, damn you light, high yella, red bone or my all time favorite light, bright damned near white...and I'm not even that light, or am I??

And I know that people talk about dark skinned women, my only sister is darker than I am, and not by a little bit, my youngest niece is nice and chocolate, and that's ok too...just the other day at work, I said to a girl you are very pretty, she is a dark skinned girl, and her comment to me was, most people tell me I'm cute to be a dark skinned girl. I said no baby you're cute no matter what color you are. I know that people call dark women African like dark women are not born in America. Or ashy black, or oh she good and black, or some other disrespecting thing, I don't know them all because I've never been dark...

Even the media hypes up being light skinned like it's so much better to be light than dark. hmph I'm here to tell you it's not. I don't understand how we all brown and we don't like each other because of our skin tone, how you can you be racist against your own race. Every since I was in grade school, I've had girls not want to be friend with me because of how I looked. I was the light skinned girl with long hair who thought she was cute...(First off I'm not that light, but I am cute)or people assumed I'm stuck up, now I'm a tad be conceited but never stuck up, I'm so down to earth...or my favorite one, he only likes her cause she light skinned...again bullshit....

ok I'm getting emotional so I'm gonna end it with this...

If any brown person male or female supports this whole light skinned vs dark skinned party, they need to be slapped for real, for real...and they might as well call it
House Nigga's vs Field Nigga's I'm just saying

We're only 2 yrs apart...really..

So the other day we were in the kitchen, I was cooking, my husband was at the counter on his computer and our daughter was at the table on her computer. Then out of no where she asks "Mommy how old were you when you met Daddy?" I said I was 20, then my husband says I was 18, my daughter had this shocking look on her face and say daaaang momma, Daddy was 18. I said you do know I'm older than Daddy, She said yeah but not thaaat old.lol...I was like um it's only 2 yrs...but she wasn't trying to hear it, she made me feel like I was Vivica Fox or something....lol

Am I Adopted?

I often wonder if I'm really this lady's child the one they call my mom. I mean I don't look like her, I don't act like her, sometimes I don't even like her, we have nothing in common, I don't really even like talking to her most of the time. I don't even feel a connection to her, I mean if she is really my mom shouldn't I feel a connection to her, I love her, at least I think I do...I feel like I could go on and never deal with her again, her or her other child, but that's a whole nother situation....

I mean the way she treats me or have treated me over the years, now don't get me wrong it hasn't been all bad, but it's been about 50/50 but if she is my mother should the good and the bad be even?? I would feel like a failed parent if either one of my babies said that about me...

I don't even feel like I am her child, or like I even belong to this family. My mom and her other daughter are like best friends, they kick it together, they go to church together, out to eat together and shop...now I do live in another state and trust me when I tell you it's better that way, but when I did live there, me and my mom or her daughter never did these things together. We would met at moms house and stuff like that, but extra curricular things never, even when I go home to visit, I don't even want to deal with them but I do because we are family, or that's what I'm told....

I'm just so tired of dealing with the bullshit, the drama, the jealousy, being the black sheep, getting my feelings hurt, biting my tongue, because she is my mom, being disrespected, unappreciated and so on. This lady, she is selfish and doesn't care about anybody but herself, she never says she sorry, admits that she is wrong,nor thinks that she does wrong, and I'm tired.

I mean how am I suppose to be able to build a healthy mother daughter relationship with my daughter, if I don't even know how one functions. But I have to break the cycle, cause apparently my mom didn't get along with her mom, me and my sister have a dysfunctional relationship with our mom, and my nieces relationship with their mom is non existing (yeah my mom's other daughter is their mom) so it's up to me to break the cycle, I refuse to have my daughter resent me or not like me, or feel like she can't talk to me like I'm the enemy, that would break my heart (unlike my mom).

My kids are the most precious thing in the world to me. My son and I have a great relationship, I love him and he loves me, he's 20 now and he still loves me, and he knows I'm have his back 100%, I have will stand by him no matter what and I've proven that to him many times before, I have never felt like this with my mom. My Princess is 7 and this relationship is hard for me, because of the relationship I have with my mom, but I refuse to let that shape what me and my daughter has or will have, she will know like her brother does, that mommy will always love her and have her back, I will always be there for her, I will always support her and I will never disappoint her, she will know she can talk to me about anything, even on those days when she feels like she doesn't have a friend in the world she can call on her mom...Me!

but I still wonder Am I adopted, if I were, it would answer so many questions...

It's Officially My Birthday Month.....1.21.11

Well if you know me, have known me in the past, or have just met me, You already know It's my Birthday Month. I love my birthday, my mom said I have been excited about my birthday every since I realized I had one...lol. sooooo why stop now???

Well since I'm not stopping I might as well talk about it more...I am so excited, why you ask, Because I am going to see Ms. Lauryn Hill 1.18.11, and I'm gonna be like a strait groupie, singing all the songs, jumping up and down and dancing, and I will be up front, but there will be NO crying..my make up may run and I'm way to Fabulous for that..lol but I'm excited...

Also I gonna order me some boots from www.amiclubwear.com if you like shoes/boots you should check it out, and they have cute clothes too.

Also I'm gonna have a small get together at the house, just a couple of friends, you know play some Spades, Dominoes and Apple to Apples, I love Apples to Apples, (if you've never played you need to get on it), of course their will be food, but Bring Your Own Drink... and bring me some Moscato please and thank you...

Did I mention it's My Birthday Month...1.21.11

Happy New Year....

It's a new year, so what does that mean hmmmmmm??? Well for one people will start with these bullshit resolutions. Resolutions that won't even make it to February lol..but who am I to shoot down their Resolutions. Well the New Year for me, I'm gonna take it one day and a time, I've been on a emotional roller coaster for about 2 yrs now, with Cancer (chemo, radiation, and 3 surgeries), My son going to Jail, being shot, and just everyday life of being a mom and a wife, so this year, I'm just gonna take it day by day and hope for the best. One thing I am gonna put an effort to is posting to my blog more, and even try video blogging, especially since I got my new computer from the hubs for Christmas and it has a web cam, so we will see how it goes. But before I end this post, I am gonna go thru some random thoughts for the New Year...

Here goes...

Do people really think I'm a punk?

Sometimes I feel like I don't have friend in the world?

Am I the Black Sheep?

I really miss my son?

My daughter is really amazing?

It's hard for me to trust....and forget?

Am I really a good friend? yeah I am!

I have learned only to give advice to people who ask for it!

I give damn good advice.

People don't respect my honesty?

I am a really good friend!

I can be raw and uncut.

So why is it so hard to find new friends? or just to meet new people?

I really like Facebook.

Will I get more followers on this blog?

My husband is wonderful.

It's my Birthday Month.

A new pair of shoes would be nice..

I'm gonna be the same person in 2011 that I was in 2010, so take it or leave it...



Have a Happy and Prospersous New Year love Ms. Miko...Smooches!